I Forgot To Ask...

...Did your professor discover a real planet? Or just another Pluto-esque planet? Am I going to have to rebuild my Styrofoam solar system from 7th grade again? 

On the bright side, we may actually have something to celebrate on space day this year. 

Puns Used To Be The Highest Form Of Humor

Which is why I love the title of your last post so much. Being the neglectful friend I am, I just saw that post now. For a few days I was consumed by deadlines for papers and was basically dead to the world. Now that I have just one multiple choice final standing in between me and a completed semester...I'm still basically dead to the world. I, obviously, blame you. If you hadn't told me about that stupid website (which shall remain nameless) I would NOT have lost the past 72 hours of my life to Dexter, Weeds, and True Blood. I did work, but only two four hour shifts, which were hardly worth getting up for. I have to work from 9-3 and 6-11:30pm tomorrow so I guess it's a good thing I've done nothing but vegetate for the last 72 hours...I'll be well rested. Except that I  haven't been sleeping well, because I haven't really done anything to make me tired. I'm in a sad state friend, and cannot wait for your return home. 

I am horribly unprepared for the final I have on Wednesday, but it's multiple choice and it's a gen ed so I can only bring myself to care so much. Every week in class we watch a movie, and I almost always skipped those days, so I was looking information about them up on Wikipedia. Studying for almost a steady 20 minutes has wiped me out. That's how fried my brain is right now. 

I have absolutely no entertaining stories for you my friend. I was going to try and make one up, but like I said, I studied for almost 20 minutes and I'm only human after all. So I'll leave with an old (but so far untold) story of my social awkwardness/general clumsiness. I was walking by an old professor's office and saw he was in there. I popped in to say "Hello," we chatted for a few minutes, I turned to leave and walked into a bookcase. 

Out of This World

In the interest of not having the most recent post be something EXTREMELY embarrassing, I thought you might like to know that a U of R professor, who's class I took this semester, was on the news tonight. She discovered a new planet. She was on right after the story about future-senator Fran Fine.

I think the local news airs stories in order of importance to the universe.

My Loneliness Is Killing Me

I know you don't drink, buddy, but I think it's important that you know the rules to the Scream drinking game. Lonnie and I played it this weekend, and it resulted in some horrible things. Well, they were horrible for me. You would have been wildly entertained had you been there.

RULES:
1. Every time someone dies, drink.
2. Whenever you see any kind of blade, drink.
3. Every time another horror movie is referred to, drink.
4. Whenever someone alludes to the fact that Sydney's mother is a whore, drink.
5. Every time Courtney Cox is wearing something LIME FUCKING GREEN, drink.

Using only those rules, Lon Lon and I drank enough to stumble to campus, do karaoke (Hit Me Baby One More Time), and wander around the residence halls talking about Anna Paquin's...you know... for about an hour before finding someone we knew and having fun with dental dams. But not the kind of fun that you're supposed to have with dental dams.

Anyway, what I'm trying to say, is that you'd love the Scream drinking game and that we should get a bottle of rum and live it up when I get home.

Your Plan Backfired (shocker!)

The pun you posted (in an attempt to spite me) was a hit at work today. I made two more friends. So there. 

Post of Spite

I had planed to write an incredibly interesting and witty post to make up for not writing anything at all in the past couple of weeks. But then Eileen made fun of me, and so out of spite I'm just going to tell a pun.

What kind of pussy does a priest get?
Nun.

Midmorning motivation

Received this e-mail from my mother:
Do you want to read this book that I have called DEWEY The Small-Town Library Cat Who Touched the World?

You know I am bad at keeping my accounts in order. I have more than once suffered the pain of being charged a $35 overdraft fee for overdrawing 67 cents or some other ridiculously small number. Today I feared that iTunes had fucked me by charging me for a movie rental a week after I rented it. My balance was dwindling in the single digits, and I was sure I was screwed. Or was I? Turns out, I had an extra $16! Granted, that is not a large sum of money, but in these tough financial times any little bit helps. It's amazing what a simple thing like finding out you had a little bit more money than you thought to put a spring in your step.