Friday, October 30, 2009

Candyman, Candyman, Candyman, Candyman... Helen?

Hello Reader(s)! I don't know what the response will be to my new goal of blogging about horror movies will be, but since it's the day before Halloween I figure it's a timely topic, whether it becomes a weekly thing or not. So I have decided to compile a list of scary movies for people who want to get in on the holiday spirit, but who don't actually like scary movies. I have a feeling this has been done before... but not by me!

Candyman (1992)
Candyman is a legitimately scary movie that has the potential to appeal to people who are not particularly interested in monster movies. Candyman features a strong script, a fantastic performance by Virginia Madsen, and a haunting score by PHILLIP FUCKING GLASS. Candyman is the story of University of Illinois graduate student Helen Lyle (Madsen) who is writing a thesis about urban legends. When she finds out from her cleaning lady that residents of a housing project attribute a series of murders in their neighborhood to the Candyman, Helen goes in to investigate the deaths. While the issue of a white savior coming in to rescue the helpless black folks is in full play here, Candyman deals with issues of race and class in a more complicated way than you might initially expect. Most of the scares for me came from Tony Todd's creeeeeeeepy voice-overs. There's not a lot of gore here, though there are a few bloody scenes. This movie does a great job of making you wonder if the main character is really seeing the Candyman or if she is just bat shit insane. Candyman is a very well made film, and so I think it is a horror movie for people who are just into movies... Did that sentence make sense or have meaning?

Bloody Mallory (2002)
One of the most entertaining horror comedies I've seen in years, Bloody Mallory is the story of a team of paranormal investigators/demon hunters who work for the French government and are called upon to save the life of a crotchety old Pope. The team consists of Mallory, who got into this work after accidentallyarrying a dddemone should have known he was evil because he had a soul patch), Vena Cava, a transgendered weapons expert with attitude, and Talking Tina, a 12-year-old mute telepath. When the Pope is kidnapped on French soil, the team is sent to a town populated by possessed worshipers of the fallen angel Abaddon to bring him back to safety. This movie also features a succubus with a giant clit on her forehead, which isn't as offensive as it sounds. This movie is completely ridiculous and a lot of fun, but it's not at all scary. Definitely a great movie for people who aren't into being scared to watch on Halloween.

Otto; or, Up with Dead People (2008)
This one is for all our readers who like to think. While the other two movies on this list are both available on Hulu, Otto is still doing the festival circuit, and so it's probably not a realistic Halloween treat for most people. If you do get the chance to see it though, I highly recommend it. I do not even know how to begin explaining the plot of this movie, since it's not really a standard narrative film. The synopsis given on the official website doesn't quite cover everything. Basically, a zombie gets cast in a movie about zombie rights, and the plot is about his experience as a gay zombie and the filmmaker's attempt to finish her masterpiece. The movie explicitly plays with the whole "zombies as a metaphor for political/social change" concept, and does it in a way that most zombie movies do not - it puts Otto in the midst of an existential crisis (I think). A warning; this film is extremely gory.

I would also like to recommendd Dead Snow (or Død snø, 2009) as a horror movie for people who like horror movies. This Norwegian movie about Nazi zombies has it all; blood, guts, sex, and snowmobiles. It is a definite treat for any zombie fan.

Happy Halloween!

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Taking things in new and exciting directions!

In light of the fact that someone actually read our blog today (Leen will have more on that later), I thought I should update it!

Believe it or not, I've actually been thinking a lot lately about what would make me update this thing of beauty a little more regularly. I thought about maybe giving the blog a theme so that I could write about my interests. Then I thought about my interests.
  1. Law and Order
  2. Horror Movies
  3. Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me
I think it's pretty obvious what I have to do. I mean, there are already so many Wait Wait episode recap blogs out there, does the world really need another one?! So I'm thinking about Special Victim Sundays and Freaky Fridays or something like that. What do you think, buddy? Five days of the week to talk about WHATEVER WE WANT and two days of the week that we get to write witty and intellectually stimulating posts about my interests? What does our reader think?