Due to my overexposure of television crime (thanks L&O!) I have been known to suffer from the odd bit of irrational paranoia. I was walking home from work tonight, in the darkness of an early winter evening, in the rain, listening to listening to some Robyn, and I saw the shadow of a person walking swiftly behind me. My initial reaction? To be terrified. I glanced back at the shadow and saw that they were using an umbrella and I relaxed immediately.
I don't know why the knowledge that the person behind me was using an umbrella was such an immediate comfort to me until I reached the following hypothesis: Muggers don't use umbrellas. I don't know any muggers so unfortunately I can't ask them about it. But the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. If you were to mug someone, wouldn't you need both hands at your disposal? I imagine it would be hard to be very frightening if one hand was trying to control an umbrella on a windy day. Wouldn't it also be an easy way to identify someone to a near by patrolman? "What did she look like ma'am?" "She was about 5'5" brown hair, average weight, oh yeah, and she had a giant Hello Kitty umbrella."
5 comments:
What if someone folded the umbrella up and bludgeoned you with it. Also: I spelled bludgeoned right on the first try!
I actually thought about that but decided if you were going to bludgeon someone there are more discreet and more effective items you could use. I don't think many people would be that scared if you threatened to hit them with an umbrella. Matter of fact, I hit my boss with an umbrella today and he didn't care at all.
P.S. I only spelled it correctly because I copied you.
so like...
http://iftheycandoitsocanwe.com is owned by someone you know....
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